Everyone Occasionally Needs A Little Help

Emerson wrote that: "There is no shame in asking for help, the shame is in not asking when we could use the help." I have a friend who was struck by a car as he was crossing the street. He had his tibia broken in two places. After his doctor inserted the braces to align the pieces so that the bones could knit back, he was instructed to keep his weight off that leg as he went about his day. At first, he thought he could cook, clean house, bathe, and do laundry himself using a walker - have you ever hopped about all day and night with one leg off the ground and dragged your laundry to and from the laundry room? He managed, but when he accepted my and other acquaintances help, he had more time and energy to enjoy our companionship and visits; the PT exercises were more fun and his rehabbing time went faster.
Emerson also wrote that: "All disease rolls into one, old age." When you live on your own and would like a little help ... ask ... please. Click on the care banner in the left hand column for some more information.

Apostle Paul's Encouragement

We don’t need to comfort Matthew and Russ; they are in God’s hands. Maybe in answer to Matthew’s and Russ' prayers God has taken them to help them accomplish the things they and He wanted for them. We know our Father loves Matthew and Russ and He knows their dreams and desires. He also knows that neither were able to follow through at this time. Maybe He took them to give them a chance to follow through and grow. Matthew and Russ are not suffering from whatever was troubling them. God knows their hearts and has told us that we aren't to judge anyone, only Jesus will.
Different people have shared a little of their understanding of what takes place when we die. Maybe something of their words will let us know what Matthew and Russ feel now:
“Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.” Helen Keller
“I have come that [Matthew and Russ] may have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) Heavenly Father never stopped loving them. They can live a life beyond what they were living here.
“The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“… it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
"Behold, I show you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump." (1 Corinthians 15:51) In a brief moment each may have been taken from hopeless struggle to new hope, in the twinkling of an eye.

Time Is Moving ... Sometimes the Heart Isn't

Matt's funeral was on Tuesday, August 31st, and Russ' memorial was Sunday, August 29th. Each family feels the loss. They return to work; answer the same questions over and over; and politely listen to platitudes meant to comfort. At home families try to keep Matt's parents and Russ' wife busy with dinners and handling the nagging loose ends, aware that most of it seems unimportant. Therefore the families make those decisions.
At night anger, guilt, tears, and laughter repeat and repeat in random loops. It will be all right, won't it? There will be a time when the heart will heal, right?

We Are Mortal, Aren't We?

On Tuesday one friend's spouse committed suicide and on Saturday a dear couple found their adult son cold and stiff on the basement's concrete floor. I have been with both sets of families listening to stories about their loved ones and holding them as they grieve. Families and friends are gathering to share their favorite memories of Russ and Matt. Services are on this Sunday for Russ and Tuesday morning for Matt. Over the days and nights we look at photos, tell stories, but underlying it all is an unrelenting ache for Russ and Matt. They should be here to hold and to love. In each home articles of clothing, still computers, and pet dogs sniffing around the home for Russ or for Matt elicit thoughts of them. Sights, sounds, and smells conjure up different times shared, but tainted with the fear of losing them, too. Denial, anger, bargaining, and overriding sorrow tumble inside each of us, sometimes taking turns, sometimes one dominating the moment. Nights are restless, days filled with things to be decided, arranged, and paid for.

Part of my passion is encouraging people, and showing them their talents and strengths. So I was glad to find this Goethe quote: "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
To keep balanced I also look for humor. These from Shakespeare are a couple that make me smile. They are clever and aren't directed at anyone and so they don't hurt or belittle: "He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike." and "I dote on his very absence." Here is a side of Albert Einstein you may be unfamiliar with: "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." And here is another Goethe quote: "We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe."

Rock Garden Parenting

Mom was a big influence on me and my seven siblings. In thinking about the subtle ways she taught us, I realize she had a particularly effective one: Mom had a rock garden with a variety of different plants. We marveled at how beautifully she arranged them and how each spring she planned ways to improve her garden, regardless of how wonderful the garden looked the previous year. She shaped the sedum so that it didn't take over the ground where another plant was growing. She added a new plant and moved another to a spot with better drainage or better sunlight. She never gave up on a plant just because it hadn't done well last season. She'd say, "maybe this year it'll grow." And as we grew up and moved out on our own, she'd give us some starter bulbs and pots with seedlings she'd prepared for our own modest gardens.
When we came to visit she'd takes us to her in her garden where she taught us that relationships require weeding and cultivation, that people have different growing seasons, that even beautiful fragrant roses have thorns too, and that cross pollination helps new blooms develop. She taught us that patience and love are as important as food and shelter, and that after we've done our best, we have to leave things in God's hands ...