Miss Helen Exhaled and Breathed In a New Life

Sunday, March 13th at 2pm, after days in hospice care 98 1/2 year old Miss Helen exhaled her last breath in this mortal world. She lived a full, rich life; loved unconditionally; and modeled perseverance for her family, by not allowing obstacles to block her pursuit of good family life and the enjoyment of piano and calliope entertainment. Miss Helen is known and loved by thousands of riverboat enthusiasts, her children, grandchildren, great grands, and we, her newly-met friends.

Wherever people are familiar with the Delta Queen, the Tacoma, the Tom Greene, the Belle of Louisville, and the Chris Greene, Miss Helen is revered both for her entertaining, as well as for her love of the river and the people it nurtured. I am a late comer to Miss Helen's life, but a devotee nonetheless. Over the months I visited with her; listened to her vivid, life-affirming stories; felt the warmth of her firm handshake; and delighted in her laugh.

Miss Helen wouldn't be human if she only had had good times, but she had a gift of dealing with the difficult things, and then celebrating the good in her life. Late in life her vision clouded, her fingers didn't move as lightly over the piano keys, but she could hear the music just the way it should be played and saw with clarity everything with her mind's eye. Up until August of 2010 Miss Helen played her piano keyboard for up to four hours a day. If she hit a bad note, she'd start over til she "found the right chord." She was proud of the chord sequence she'd arranged for Please Be Kind and could usually be prompted to play it and other tunes that flowed into practiced medleys for Ann, Lyn, Kitty, and Karwyn - her "new friends" sitting with her.

For her family, there are memories of summer trips in the Streamline trailer and the aroma of freshly baked pies, or her stopping whatever chores she was engaged in and playing their favorite games, or bandaging a scrape, or just listening to them.

Yes, she'll be missed but we know she is watching and protecting us. That she sees clearly, remembers every facet, has learned the reasons for different mysteries, and will greet each family member when they are ready to cross over. Her love and her laugh will assure us it's Miss Helen ...

Julie and Julia movie

Just saw "Julie and Julia" movie. What perseverance and self-growth for Julie! It was inspiring for me, to watch Julie learn french cooking by making each french recipe in Julia Child's "The Art of French Cooking" book in 365 days, and create a journal on her blog of her experiences and feelings during that time - wow! And then how she dealt with the twist at the end. (I am deliberately vague so as not to spoil your enjoyment of the movie, if you want to see it later ...)

There are numerous things I still want out of life, I wonder which to tackle first. I need to be systematic so that I don't dilute the experience. Sigh, this will take some thought. What about you? What would you like to learn? Talk with you later ... Brian

Both Julia Child and Meryl Streep seem to be having fun, eh?

Everyone Occasionally Needs A Little Help

Emerson wrote that: "There is no shame in asking for help, the shame is in not asking when we could use the help." I have a friend who was struck by a car as he was crossing the street. He had his tibia broken in two places. After his doctor inserted the braces to align the pieces so that the bones could knit back, he was instructed to keep his weight off that leg as he went about his day. At first, he thought he could cook, clean house, bathe, and do laundry himself using a walker - have you ever hopped about all day and night with one leg off the ground and dragged your laundry to and from the laundry room? He managed, but when he accepted my and other acquaintances help, he had more time and energy to enjoy our companionship and visits; the PT exercises were more fun and his rehabbing time went faster.
Emerson also wrote that: "All disease rolls into one, old age." When you live on your own and would like a little help ... ask ... please. Click on the care banner in the left hand column for some more information.

Apostle Paul's Encouragement

We don’t need to comfort Matthew and Russ; they are in God’s hands. Maybe in answer to Matthew’s and Russ' prayers God has taken them to help them accomplish the things they and He wanted for them. We know our Father loves Matthew and Russ and He knows their dreams and desires. He also knows that neither were able to follow through at this time. Maybe He took them to give them a chance to follow through and grow. Matthew and Russ are not suffering from whatever was troubling them. God knows their hearts and has told us that we aren't to judge anyone, only Jesus will.
Different people have shared a little of their understanding of what takes place when we die. Maybe something of their words will let us know what Matthew and Russ feel now:
“Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.” Helen Keller
“I have come that [Matthew and Russ] may have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) Heavenly Father never stopped loving them. They can live a life beyond what they were living here.
“The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“… it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
"Behold, I show you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump." (1 Corinthians 15:51) In a brief moment each may have been taken from hopeless struggle to new hope, in the twinkling of an eye.

Time Is Moving ... Sometimes the Heart Isn't

Matt's funeral was on Tuesday, August 31st, and Russ' memorial was Sunday, August 29th. Each family feels the loss. They return to work; answer the same questions over and over; and politely listen to platitudes meant to comfort. At home families try to keep Matt's parents and Russ' wife busy with dinners and handling the nagging loose ends, aware that most of it seems unimportant. Therefore the families make those decisions.
At night anger, guilt, tears, and laughter repeat and repeat in random loops. It will be all right, won't it? There will be a time when the heart will heal, right?

We Are Mortal, Aren't We?

On Tuesday one friend's spouse committed suicide and on Saturday a dear couple found their adult son cold and stiff on the basement's concrete floor. I have been with both sets of families listening to stories about their loved ones and holding them as they grieve. Families and friends are gathering to share their favorite memories of Russ and Matt. Services are on this Sunday for Russ and Tuesday morning for Matt. Over the days and nights we look at photos, tell stories, but underlying it all is an unrelenting ache for Russ and Matt. They should be here to hold and to love. In each home articles of clothing, still computers, and pet dogs sniffing around the home for Russ or for Matt elicit thoughts of them. Sights, sounds, and smells conjure up different times shared, but tainted with the fear of losing them, too. Denial, anger, bargaining, and overriding sorrow tumble inside each of us, sometimes taking turns, sometimes one dominating the moment. Nights are restless, days filled with things to be decided, arranged, and paid for.

Part of my passion is encouraging people, and showing them their talents and strengths. So I was glad to find this Goethe quote: "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
To keep balanced I also look for humor. These from Shakespeare are a couple that make me smile. They are clever and aren't directed at anyone and so they don't hurt or belittle: "He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike." and "I dote on his very absence." Here is a side of Albert Einstein you may be unfamiliar with: "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." And here is another Goethe quote: "We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe."